Out of my mind

Here's the deal, I opened up my gmail account and to my surprise I have 50 gmail invites to give away. If you want one, e-mail me at cran_t2atyahoodotcomdotau. All I want in return is a postcard from the place you're currently at. Easy as! C'mon people!!

I'm never gonna be the same again

well, back home for 4 days and my sleeping pattern is outta whack...keep waking up at 9am >.<
It's good to be back home, seeing my rellis again, good food, hanging out with old friends, making new ones...sigh...but i still feel numb and numbmer. Still having weird dreams. At one point when I woke up, I was gasping.
Break down of my dreams: 1. Being chased
2. Hiding
3. Getting Slashed
4. Zombies
5. Mummies (YUCK)
6. Tegan and Sara (YAY)
7. Fighting in a robot
8. Feeling angry
9. Feelings for a person NOT returned

Music: Tegan and Sara - Superstar
Mood: Tired and numb

It's back to sleep to re-dream me

Hmm...looks like no one is reading my blog...oh well, more gmail invites for me to trade off then. My sis got me The Sims 2 for Chrissy...addictive as! I Looove playing God! Bwahahahaha!! ahem...sorry, got a little carried away there :)
Let's see...moved into a new apartment, no Internet connection for 5 days, had to do heaps of packing and unpacking, I'm goin home for a month after my exam paper on Thursday...damn paper!! I don't feel like goin home tho, dunno why, reckon it's due to the fact it's home. meh. Had a weird as dream last night, I dreamt I was goin to miss a Tegan and Sara concert due to the fact i was goin home and I wasn't sure when the date of the concert was because i couldn't get access to the Internet! Maaaan... Internet withdrawal sure sucks ass! Been having really weird dreams lately, it's either I dream of being chased but I can't see who is the chaser, or I'm getting slashed by someone. Fuck man, I'm sure I'm slowly goin insane.

Music: TEGAN AND SARA - WAKE UP EXHAUSTED
Mood: Meh

Route in hand, but the map is stuck

Been busy as lately...exams and more exams...whoohoo! I aced my Cisco exam. Load off my chest. Next exam is in January. Fucking exhausted...It's like I'm tired all the time! Gaaaaaaah!
I've just started learning the guitar, bought a Washburn steel acoustic, burned a huge whole in my pocket...but it was worth it. Looks like being broke is goin to be my lifestyle for a while.
Just a little experiment on whether anyone is reading my blog...I have 3 gmail invites available, post me a message, leave me your e-mail and we'll work something out. :)

Mood: Sleepy
Music: Smashing Pumpkins - The Killer in you

City Girl

I attended the worst concert of the year by accompanying my sis at the Maroon 5 concert. Gawd...why did I agree to go?? I only semi like 2 of their songs. They don't seem to have the 'phwoar' factor when playing live...heck, their album has no 'phwoar' factor to begin with anyways. >.<>
Fuck man, need to redeem my concert experience with a Tegan and Sara concert.

I started my CCNA course this week, 4 hour classes twice a week. Plus a 2 module test on mondays and 1 module test on wednesdays. Yay!...not!
Well, its more interesting than fucking programming.

Went to the gym at a friend's place and ended up playing tennis after that. Went to do that all over again the day after. By the end of it my body was screaming 'Have Mercy!' it's to make up on months and months of exercising the equivalent of a moving slug :)

After that we went to watch 'The Grudge', late night show. Frickin scary as!! After the show we were joking that we wouldn't take a shower or sleep again!


Mood: Meh
Music: L.P. - Change of Scenery

Wake up exhausted

Woke up on Tuesday morning feeling worse for wear, all bleary eyed, feverish and sneezing. Went to see the doctor at Uni and sat for my afternoon paper feeling all woozy. To top that, the weather on Tuesday was insane! Wild winds and pouring rain which of course I got caught in, which made my cold worse. The thought of sitting for an exam paper the next day was out of the question. The fucking cherry on the cake was the fact I was kneeling in front of the Porcelin God wasn't due to the flu, but from the side effects to the antibiotics the doc prescribed. I was having stabbing gut wrenching pain in my stomach and throwing up. Missed sitting for my last paper too. Just great!. I'm now at the mercy of TPTB of uni admin to process my special consideration application and decide whether to allow me to sit for a supp exam. Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

Mood: depressed and tired
Music: T n S

Take Me Anywhere

Went to sleep this morning at 7...couldn't sleep, might as well study right? >Rolls eyes< The weather was totally outta whack. It started rainning at 9pm and the gale force winds started at 6am and lasted through out the day. It was crazy...branches flying everywhere and it was wet and cold and blustery...heck, it's still cold. The cold...I love the cold weather. Not complaining at all, no uh!

Been listening to L.P., her albums :
- Surburban Sprawl and Alcohol (2nd and current album) I love the first track "wasted" and the title track is good too
- Heart-Shaped Scar (first album) 9th track 'Insane' is very haunting.

Rock with excellent hooks...mmmmmmm and her voice! double mmmmmm:) No idea what does L.P. stands for, initials maybe. The two whole albums can be listened to at the website. Can't download tho :( now that's asking for a bit too much :) check her site out : www.lprock.com . I don't think her albums are available here (damn!) but then I haven't checked out HMV in the city yet...
I need some US connections!

Mood: No change
Music: L.P. - Surburban Sprawl and Alcohol

Dark Things Come Calling

Still having trouble sleeping...a couple of nights ago I had the weirdest fuck as dream. I dreamt I went to a Tegan and Sara concert at the Festival Hall. I had my ticket, but the attendant wouldn't let me in because I had the wrong tempreture...wtf?? I pushed the attendant aside as the concert was starting and got to the front row. Sara was signing autographs and I gave her my notebook to sign. As I got back my notebook, I looked up, the band disapeared and there were yellow rubber duckys everywhere! What the hell?? Don't get me wrong, dreaming about going to a Tegan and Sara concert is great! excellent even, but dreaming about not gaining entry because of the wrong body tempreture and yellow rubber duckys?! ARGH...! the exam/assignment stress is really getting to me. Fuck man, why won't it end?!

Mood: So very tired
Music: Skinny Puppy - Optimissed

This is Me Before I Fall Apart

Been having trouble sleeping, it's either I can't sleep or I over sleep. Case in point Thursday night, went to bed at 3 am, woke up at 4 am, went back to sleep, woke up at 6 am, finally I gave up and was lying in bed until about 7.45 where I had to get up for an eye appointment at 9 am. Went to uni a hour later to hand up an assignment. Fell asleep at the library at uni while waiting for a tute to start, which i obviously missed!
Went to the Black Eyed Peas concert on Friday night. These guys rock! They were very energetic and they really got the crowd going. By the end of it everyone was standing on their seats and dancing and cheering.
Slept at 3 am and woke up today at 3.30 pm gaaaah! Bloody hell!

Mood: Tired
Music: T n S - Speak Slow

I Was So High I Thought I Definitely Died

Right, first entry for October. Last week I was supposed to go clubbing with Jack and his two friends visiting from the US. That was the plan anyway. Until one of them passed me a joint, pure joint, not mixed with tobacco in anyway. Got so shit stoned that I threw up on the road. Ended the night watching tv and getting a huge attack of the munchies...wheeeeeeeeeee! I still felt the effects of the joint the next day...strong as.
Went to catch a show in the Melbourne International Arts Festival on Friday. It's called Provenance. All I can say is WHOA. It's a marionnette show and IT IS GOOD! The marionnette master Ronnie Burkett is a genius at manipulating the puppets. If there's anyone reading this, go catch his show! Student concession is only AUS$19 compared to the full adult price of $50. Frickin bargain man!

Mood: Numb
Music: T n S

I Don't Like What I See

Excellent weather today, sunny blue skies. Was hanging out in the lawn in front of the state library getting some sun with my sis. Laying down staring at the sky as the clouds swept by QV was surreal. It felt like the building was moving instead of the clouds. Maaaaaaaan... I sound like a stoner.
My dad came over 2 weeks ago on business. Saw him for a couple of days with my sis. Then on one day his business appointment got cancelled so I took him around the city while my sis was at work. My dad and me alone...in the city...after the small talk got exhausted It got kinda awkward. I dunno, I just can't talk to my dad. My sis and him get along fine, plenty to talk about. Me and him? more silence than actual conversation. I seem to mumble and slur my words when I talk to him.
Tegan and Sara's new album release date in Oz has been pushed back :(
No clue when it's coming out here...sigh...more waiting.
Mid-sem break starts tomorrow...only 1 week. Have to start attacking my assignments or else I won't have time to study for the exam on 25th Oct...sigh..more grief.

Mood: Calm...for now
Music: Walking with a ghost

It could have been a month or It could have been a year

The sun was finally out today after a week of blustery winds and rain...brrr...I reckon it's to payback the sunny days in winter. Finally updated my OS to XP from WIN 98 last weekend.
Been feeling numb for months, and it's getting worse, my mood meter has been in the dark side more and more often. Rarely does it go back to "happy" mode. Even if it does, it lasts a couple of hours at most. sigh.

Mood: Dark
Music: Tegan and Sara

I've been tired for days and days

Suicidal Polar Bear (Mutluk to his friends) wondered as he was standing at the edge of the great white surface, if he jumped would his little butterfly wings support his weight and let him soar high and free in the sky, eyes closed with his tougue hanging out of his mouth as the wind rushed through his fur or will gravity rip him from the sky only to crash on the ground of reality and crushing his spirit because polar bears were never meant to fly. As he took a flying leap off the edge, he wondered what Yuri was doing...

Caffeine + lack of sleep = a weird story. Let's see 2 assignments down, 1 assignment and 2 presentations to go next week. Been on a caffeine binge, sweet, sweet caffeine, what would I do with out you? Had a birthday about 2 weeks ago...older but none the wiser...my sis got me an mp3 player...w00t! Sup got me the Angelina Jolie book about her travels with the UN and camo shoe laces, double w00t!

Mood: beep...beep....flatline...
Music: Days and Days

Underqualified, Undersatisfied I lie

My mood seems to be swinging low-to-high-to-low. Well, the previous post was low obviously. Good thing Sup and Luke dragged me out (Thanks guys!)last night to The Ding Dong Lounge in Chinatown to hear a band called "The Red Paintings" play. The lead singer Jaime looks like James Haven. The music was good, the bassist and violinist were dressed as geishas, the cellist had his face painted like a japanese mask. The only normally dressed person was the drummer :) There was a projection of random scenes of movies on the wall and a Virgin Mary statue on stage. Also there was an artist painting while the band was playing. Luke used to play for the band, which I thought was pretty cool. With the loud music pumping and beer flowing in my veins I was in my happy place and for a few hours I had no worries of assignments.

Mood: Good
Music: The Ataris - The Hero Dies in This One

End of tomorrow

Looks like I'm updating the blog once a week..a whole week's rant in one post. Blame it on the deluge of assignments that's due in a week and a half >.<
>sigh<
Sometimes I wonder what's my purpose in life. I'm hitting a quarter of a century in 5 days and I've acomplished abso-friggin-lutely nothing. Nada. Zip. Am I goin to wander aimlessly through the rest of my life?. If that's the case, I quit. I want off this ride. LET ME OFF!. Where's the friggin reset button?? Fuck, perfect timing for a quarter life crisis. The story of my life would be titled "Under achiever - Meh!"


Mood: Happy Happy Joy Joy NOT!
Music: Third Eye Blind

Stick your hands inside my pocket

I can't wait for Tegan and Sara's new album to come out! One more agonizing month to go >.<
It's getting real windy here..spring's coming... NOT!
I was watching the opening ceremony of the Athen's Olympics and the Danes and the Canadians have some hot looking athletes! Phwoar! ;)
The Malaysian contingent looked like they were wearing huge baggy red and white stripey pillow cases >groan<>

-Life goes on, long after the thrill of livin is gone.


Mood: Sleepy
Music: Portishead - Glory box

Trouble

Aaahh, the weekend! salvation! The assignments are piling up...whoopeee! I had to do some logrithmic calculations for a tute, now ain't that ironic...the last time I did any log calculations was 6 years ago! shite.
Went clubbing the first time in over a year last night/this morning at Telstra Dome...some event called Hype. Fuck knows what the club's called.

Mood: Pissed
Music: Tegan and Sara

Monday Monday

Lessons in futility...Why start something when the outcome is going to end up the same. Waste of time and waste of effort. Been given the run around the whole of last week just to avoid taking a unit again and I found out today I have to take it anyway, back at fuckin square one! Today was one of those "I hate Mondays" Monday. I hope I have a better day tomorrow.


Mood: Cranky
Music: Tegan and Sara

Time you got me tired

Finally the weekend!! I thought I'd never make it...like a drowning person hanging on to a life preserver. The assignments haven't even started yet and I'm stressed up to my eye balls! So gawd damn tired.
 
 
Mood: Stressed
Music: Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated

It's a little cold outside

Gawd...this week's such a killer, tutes, lectures, meetings with my course coordinator AND lecturer and to top it off, a massive headache for two days. Trying to drown it with Panadol and the heavy duty stuff: Ponstan!
More gripes: It's been raining and it's cold and all I wanna do is bury myself deeper under my doona when I have a morning lecture to attend. >Sigh< The weekend can't come any sooner.
 
 
Mood: stressed
Music: Tegan and Sara