What Do I Have To Do?

where to begin....I watched Star Wars Episode 3 last week..w0000t! it was excellent! Especially the ending...of all the 6 episodes of starwars, I loved Revenge of the sith and the Empire strikes back the best.
Went to a friend's place to play with her dog Keiko..maaaan, that is one active dog! She was bouncing all over the place.
Still can't sleep...still have weird dreams. I think the sleepless nights are taking a toll on my body, I feel like I'm getting sick....yeaaaaaaa....I feel it coming!
Just handed in 2 assignments and had a presentation to give...all within this week. I have another assignment due on Monday and an exam on Friday...Arghhhhh....go away!!! I just want to sleeeeep!!!

Mood: Tired, fucked up and cranky
Music: The Killers - Jenny was a friend of mine

Just Me

Feeling really bad today...I feel this tightening of the chest. I don't know why..Had a bad night last night... couldn't sleep and was tossing and turning and waking up periodically like a sick fuck.

Mood: bleak
Music: Tegan and Sara

I Know You're Sad Eventhough You Say That You're Not

After weeks of warm weather in autumn, it's finally getting cold! yea, I know I'm weird...But after living nearly 20 years in a country where the humidity and heat just kills you, I crave the cold.
I went bowling last night for the first time in 3 years and now I ache all over...gawd damnit. It was pretty good just to hang out and chill with friends.
I saw a Darth Vader helmet at Myers that makes you sound like good old Darth and I WANT IT!!!!! To my friends IF they are reading this; Hint, hint wink, wink :) My birthday's coming up in 3 months...heh.
Sleep still eludes me and the dreams continue to disturb me.
The list of some of the things I dream about:

• Being shot at
• Shooting at people shooting at me
• Being chased
• Hiding
• elephants
• secondary school
• Dying
• Shane in a skirt
• Mummies chasing after me (YUCK!!!)

Mood: Numb

Music: Tegan and Sara - My Number

Stick your hand inside my chest

I'm such a fuckin slack arse... I nearly missed handing in an assignment today. I totally forgot about what week it was and I thought the assignment due date was next week. I went in for the tute today and the tutor asked for the answers to be sent to him! Good thing my group member had her answers and lent it to me to paraphrase, generate public keys, encrypt and send it. All done within an hour and 20 minutes. Phew! Don't know what the hell is wrong with me.... I'm losing track of time...all my days are bleeding in to one ginormous day. Can't afford to screw up anymore....I already missed handing in a 10% assignment on another unit.

Mood: Meh
Music: Tegan and Sara

I can't take it

It's been a busy month, assignments, tutes and more sleepless nights. The frickin weird dreams are a norm now, still unsettling but a norm. I'd be very surprised if for one night I don't dream at all. sigh...I wish. I tried swaping rooms with my sis...but it didn't work, still couldn't sleep and the dreams kept on coming.
Went to see the Doc and she upped my dosage...feel so drowzy and tired.
During easter I went to watch the umbilical brothers at the comedy festival. It was funny as! I laughed until my sides ached.
I started playing Sims 2 again...getting addicted again aye.


Mood: Drowzy
Music: Tegan and Sara - Take me anywhere

Fall Forever

I think I'm losing my mind...the only time I feel anything now is when I dream. Last night's dream was a mish mash of stuff that don't make sense, like dreaming about the class I was in when I was in Form 3??Fuck man...the dream dragged up feelings for anger, regret, sadness, sorrow. These dreams are becoming too real for words. What is wrong with me?? If dreams are what you want subconciously, fuck then I'm in trouble, I can't figure out what I want!

Mood: unsettled
Music: Tegan and Sara

C'mon kids, eat those pills

Easter break WOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooot!! The break's been good..hanging out with friends playing foosball and pool, but I can't seem to find the mood to start on my assignments. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! All this procastination is goin to bite me in the ass hard very very soon. Too make matters worse, I can't seem to get my sleeping pattern right. I either sleep too much or it takes me a very very long time to fall asleep or I can't sleep at all. AND I still have frickin weird as dreams every single night! Damn Cipramil ain't working right! sigh..at least I don't freak out anymore...numb is good...maybe I should ask the doc about Zoloft....bugger that...all drugs are the same.

Mood: meh
Music: Tegan and Sara - You wouldn't like me

I Want The Ocean Right Now

Went to the Moomba Water Festival on Satday. It was the 50th aniversary and there were heaps of people!! Rides and games everywhere. I wanted to sit the Catapult but it costs AUS$30 for a ride..! frickin expensive. The fireworks display was excellent....with the fireworks being set off to music from the last 50 years.

FireWorks at the Moomba Festival


I got Tegan and Sara's 'So Jealous' album from amazon yesterday...WOOOOoooooot!! The album's still not out in Oz yet and I couldn't wait anymore!! I love the interaction of Tegan and Sara in the 20 minute making of movie....hillarious as!
I love the tracks 'Downtown' and 'We didn't do it' mmmmmmmmmmm! ear candy....!


Tegan and Sara's new album 'So Jealous'




Mood: mmmmmmmmmmmmm
Music: Tegan and Sara - downtown

Stars fade into day

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! It's 4am and I can't sleep!! Gawd damnit.....and I have a lecture at 1pm to make matters worse >.<
Maybe I should just bang my head against the wall...nah...makes too much noise and I'd probably dent my wall. That'll kiss my bond good bye. Bye-bye bond!! bwahahahahahaha....fuck, I needs sleep!!

Mood: Tired and grouchy
Music: Tegan and Sara

Damn Your Mood Swings

Been back in Melbs for a week and uni started today. I really needed the 1 month break back home altho I was hesitant to go back. It was good to see my friends and some friends that I haven't seen for nearly 9 years. Just chillin and laxing out to the max. Eating my granma's good cookin, seeing my parents AND having a car to drive!!
My sleeping pattern is still out of whack AND I'm still having freaky weird as dreams.

Mood: tired
Music: Tegan and Sara - Monday Monday Monday

Out of my mind

Here's the deal, I opened up my gmail account and to my surprise I have 50 gmail invites to give away. If you want one, e-mail me at cran_t2atyahoodotcomdotau. All I want in return is a postcard from the place you're currently at. Easy as! C'mon people!!

I'm never gonna be the same again

well, back home for 4 days and my sleeping pattern is outta whack...keep waking up at 9am >.<
It's good to be back home, seeing my rellis again, good food, hanging out with old friends, making new ones...sigh...but i still feel numb and numbmer. Still having weird dreams. At one point when I woke up, I was gasping.
Break down of my dreams: 1. Being chased
2. Hiding
3. Getting Slashed
4. Zombies
5. Mummies (YUCK)
6. Tegan and Sara (YAY)
7. Fighting in a robot
8. Feeling angry
9. Feelings for a person NOT returned

Music: Tegan and Sara - Superstar
Mood: Tired and numb

It's back to sleep to re-dream me

Hmm...looks like no one is reading my blog...oh well, more gmail invites for me to trade off then. My sis got me The Sims 2 for Chrissy...addictive as! I Looove playing God! Bwahahahaha!! ahem...sorry, got a little carried away there :)
Let's see...moved into a new apartment, no Internet connection for 5 days, had to do heaps of packing and unpacking, I'm goin home for a month after my exam paper on Thursday...damn paper!! I don't feel like goin home tho, dunno why, reckon it's due to the fact it's home. meh. Had a weird as dream last night, I dreamt I was goin to miss a Tegan and Sara concert due to the fact i was goin home and I wasn't sure when the date of the concert was because i couldn't get access to the Internet! Maaaan... Internet withdrawal sure sucks ass! Been having really weird dreams lately, it's either I dream of being chased but I can't see who is the chaser, or I'm getting slashed by someone. Fuck man, I'm sure I'm slowly goin insane.

Music: TEGAN AND SARA - WAKE UP EXHAUSTED
Mood: Meh

Route in hand, but the map is stuck

Been busy as lately...exams and more exams...whoohoo! I aced my Cisco exam. Load off my chest. Next exam is in January. Fucking exhausted...It's like I'm tired all the time! Gaaaaaaah!
I've just started learning the guitar, bought a Washburn steel acoustic, burned a huge whole in my pocket...but it was worth it. Looks like being broke is goin to be my lifestyle for a while.
Just a little experiment on whether anyone is reading my blog...I have 3 gmail invites available, post me a message, leave me your e-mail and we'll work something out. :)

Mood: Sleepy
Music: Smashing Pumpkins - The Killer in you

City Girl

I attended the worst concert of the year by accompanying my sis at the Maroon 5 concert. Gawd...why did I agree to go?? I only semi like 2 of their songs. They don't seem to have the 'phwoar' factor when playing live...heck, their album has no 'phwoar' factor to begin with anyways. >.<>
Fuck man, need to redeem my concert experience with a Tegan and Sara concert.

I started my CCNA course this week, 4 hour classes twice a week. Plus a 2 module test on mondays and 1 module test on wednesdays. Yay!...not!
Well, its more interesting than fucking programming.

Went to the gym at a friend's place and ended up playing tennis after that. Went to do that all over again the day after. By the end of it my body was screaming 'Have Mercy!' it's to make up on months and months of exercising the equivalent of a moving slug :)

After that we went to watch 'The Grudge', late night show. Frickin scary as!! After the show we were joking that we wouldn't take a shower or sleep again!


Mood: Meh
Music: L.P. - Change of Scenery

Wake up exhausted

Woke up on Tuesday morning feeling worse for wear, all bleary eyed, feverish and sneezing. Went to see the doctor at Uni and sat for my afternoon paper feeling all woozy. To top that, the weather on Tuesday was insane! Wild winds and pouring rain which of course I got caught in, which made my cold worse. The thought of sitting for an exam paper the next day was out of the question. The fucking cherry on the cake was the fact I was kneeling in front of the Porcelin God wasn't due to the flu, but from the side effects to the antibiotics the doc prescribed. I was having stabbing gut wrenching pain in my stomach and throwing up. Missed sitting for my last paper too. Just great!. I'm now at the mercy of TPTB of uni admin to process my special consideration application and decide whether to allow me to sit for a supp exam. Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

Mood: depressed and tired
Music: T n S

Take Me Anywhere

Went to sleep this morning at 7...couldn't sleep, might as well study right? >Rolls eyes< The weather was totally outta whack. It started rainning at 9pm and the gale force winds started at 6am and lasted through out the day. It was crazy...branches flying everywhere and it was wet and cold and blustery...heck, it's still cold. The cold...I love the cold weather. Not complaining at all, no uh!

Been listening to L.P., her albums :
- Surburban Sprawl and Alcohol (2nd and current album) I love the first track "wasted" and the title track is good too
- Heart-Shaped Scar (first album) 9th track 'Insane' is very haunting.

Rock with excellent hooks...mmmmmmm and her voice! double mmmmmm:) No idea what does L.P. stands for, initials maybe. The two whole albums can be listened to at the website. Can't download tho :( now that's asking for a bit too much :) check her site out : www.lprock.com . I don't think her albums are available here (damn!) but then I haven't checked out HMV in the city yet...
I need some US connections!

Mood: No change
Music: L.P. - Surburban Sprawl and Alcohol

Dark Things Come Calling

Still having trouble sleeping...a couple of nights ago I had the weirdest fuck as dream. I dreamt I went to a Tegan and Sara concert at the Festival Hall. I had my ticket, but the attendant wouldn't let me in because I had the wrong tempreture...wtf?? I pushed the attendant aside as the concert was starting and got to the front row. Sara was signing autographs and I gave her my notebook to sign. As I got back my notebook, I looked up, the band disapeared and there were yellow rubber duckys everywhere! What the hell?? Don't get me wrong, dreaming about going to a Tegan and Sara concert is great! excellent even, but dreaming about not gaining entry because of the wrong body tempreture and yellow rubber duckys?! ARGH...! the exam/assignment stress is really getting to me. Fuck man, why won't it end?!

Mood: So very tired
Music: Skinny Puppy - Optimissed

This is Me Before I Fall Apart

Been having trouble sleeping, it's either I can't sleep or I over sleep. Case in point Thursday night, went to bed at 3 am, woke up at 4 am, went back to sleep, woke up at 6 am, finally I gave up and was lying in bed until about 7.45 where I had to get up for an eye appointment at 9 am. Went to uni a hour later to hand up an assignment. Fell asleep at the library at uni while waiting for a tute to start, which i obviously missed!
Went to the Black Eyed Peas concert on Friday night. These guys rock! They were very energetic and they really got the crowd going. By the end of it everyone was standing on their seats and dancing and cheering.
Slept at 3 am and woke up today at 3.30 pm gaaaah! Bloody hell!

Mood: Tired
Music: T n S - Speak Slow

I Was So High I Thought I Definitely Died

Right, first entry for October. Last week I was supposed to go clubbing with Jack and his two friends visiting from the US. That was the plan anyway. Until one of them passed me a joint, pure joint, not mixed with tobacco in anyway. Got so shit stoned that I threw up on the road. Ended the night watching tv and getting a huge attack of the munchies...wheeeeeeeeeee! I still felt the effects of the joint the next day...strong as.
Went to catch a show in the Melbourne International Arts Festival on Friday. It's called Provenance. All I can say is WHOA. It's a marionnette show and IT IS GOOD! The marionnette master Ronnie Burkett is a genius at manipulating the puppets. If there's anyone reading this, go catch his show! Student concession is only AUS$19 compared to the full adult price of $50. Frickin bargain man!

Mood: Numb
Music: T n S